these are a few pictures of my adventuresome sister/friend and i. just thought i'd share.
About Me
- kayla
- i love: the hippo song. toast. ankle socks. scarves. sunglasses. odwallas. headbands. love notes. ice cream. office supplies. shooting stars. cushy carpet. dried mango. football. jcrew. things that sparkle. the periodic table. chapstick. arched brows. journals. lab goggles. funny movies. poetry. skipping. musicals. 7 layer burritos minus the cheese. buccanators. bangs. sarcasm. a good book. dancing. old jeans. travel-size bottles. gauchos. sidewalk chalk. the number 7. praying. fish. cowboy hats. cute coffee shops. john mayer. ashley. sun. dreams. getting ready for a banquet. morals. applications. the smell of rain. winks.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
So... because I've had two chances at internet access within 7 days (I know! I was pretty excited too!) I decided to post a random happy list because well... I'm happy about the internet.
hearing my alarm clock. yes, don, it still cracks me up. pine cones. there aren't any here, but i sure miss 'em. my sissy's handwriting. i haven't seen it in a while, but i know that if i did, it'd make me smile. my daddy's voice. i know he misses me, it's just hard to tell sometimes... amy's coffee cake. enough said. jeff's crazy driving. although it made me sick at home, compared to what i've been experiencing, it was pleasant. riding in the jeep with my mommy. good times. don's hugs. i could really use one of those right now... eric's guitar serenading. "power in the blood! power in the blood!" oh! and my little scooter asking if we can sing "the oh pretty baby song." priceless. i like long fingernails. after "playing" the cello for two weeks, i've come to miss them dearly. ashley brothers, ashley logan, and ashley ward. pretty much just ashleys in general. the english language... etc. if you can think of anything else that you figure would make me happy... slap a comment on the baby.
miss you all.
love you tons.
-me
hearing my alarm clock. yes, don, it still cracks me up. pine cones. there aren't any here, but i sure miss 'em. my sissy's handwriting. i haven't seen it in a while, but i know that if i did, it'd make me smile. my daddy's voice. i know he misses me, it's just hard to tell sometimes... amy's coffee cake. enough said. jeff's crazy driving. although it made me sick at home, compared to what i've been experiencing, it was pleasant. riding in the jeep with my mommy. good times. don's hugs. i could really use one of those right now... eric's guitar serenading. "power in the blood! power in the blood!" oh! and my little scooter asking if we can sing "the oh pretty baby song." priceless. i like long fingernails. after "playing" the cello for two weeks, i've come to miss them dearly. ashley brothers, ashley logan, and ashley ward. pretty much just ashleys in general. the english language... etc. if you can think of anything else that you figure would make me happy... slap a comment on the baby.
miss you all.
love you tons.
-me
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Week 3
September 2, 2007 Still nine months. Still counting.
Today’s been so long, I had to make another list.
This is:
Kayla’s never-thought-she’d-be-thankful-for-but-was-tearfully-surprised List
Only a cup of cold water. That’s all God asks for sometimes, and too often it feels like too much. The cup is too far away; the water is too hard to find, filter, and cool. All God asks of us is obedient and humble service, but all I can think about is all I’m missing out on at home.
That solitary cup of cold water feels heavy and it freezes my hands. How can I carry such an icy and weighty burden?
God, give me patience with myself, so that I can remember that change takes time. Give me the wisdom to know that tomorrow will worry about itself. And God, give me the strength to simply make it through today. One day at a time, God, one day at a time. Please be with my family and Don. Hold us together in your hands. Bring me peace. Much more of you, much less of me…
September 3, 2007
Before I forget, I want to write down what Maximo, our house dad, did for Ashley and I last night. The girls had been acting up a lot and the weekends are always really hard for me anyway. I think I was asked if I was okay, if I were sick, why I was sad, etc. About 5 times each... Anyway, after evening worship he asked Ashley, Orquedia, and I to go for a walk. We thought we had done something wrong and were going to be split up; Ashley and I somehow ended up grasping each other’s hands tightly. Instead of a harsh rebuke however, we heard him almost tearfully explain how hard it is to be in charge of a houseful of older girls. How you can tell them to go to bed, but that doesn’t mean they’ll sleep. Or to come to worship, but you can make them love God. He just wanted to make sure we felt welcome.
At the end of the road, there’s a tiny store that has everything, and I do mean everything (except good food) in it. He bought us each a soda. At nine p.m. I drank a quarter liter of caffeine because I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I’ve never loved strawberry pop more. It’s a beginning. A start. A simple and genuine gesture of appreciation. I may just find a home in the Dominican.
Earlier today I was wondering if I’d ever be able to accept where I am. Will I ever be able to appreciate the orchestra for what and where they are? Or will I forever need to close my eyes and pretend I’m at the symphony in a silky dress sitting next to Don. Do I have to pretend every time I hear the violin that Jared and Nathan are stroking the strings and the hard bench I’m perched on is really a cold metal chair? Can I ever stop hoping the hand rubbing my arched back is my grandma’s and not my sister/friend’s? Or that the voices loudly bantering outside are familiar and English…?
God, I miss home, but don’t let me leave here unchanged.
September 3, 2007
Why I think I’m here:
“Porque ire adonde tu vayas, y vivire donde tu vivas. Tu pueblo sera mi pueblo, y tu Dios sera mi Dios.” Rut 1:16
I always thought I could do what Ruth did. Leave all she knew out of loyalty and strength of will. I am being proved wrong day after day. I could not leave all that I’ve ever known solely because I loved the mother of my dead husband. Look at me! I left with my best friend and I’m in shambles. There’s no kinsman redeemer waiting here to buy my land and sweep me off my feet…
The cutest thing happened in class today though. First/Second was more obnoxious than usual and I threatened to force one of the boys acting up to sing all by himself up front. In an attempt to subdue the class, I offered the question to everyone. I watched mouths shut and eyes lower to the floor, slowly however, the hand of the tiniest girl inched its way up past her toothless mouth and braided hair. “Profe, yo quiero a cantar.”
I motioned her up front and got down on my knees. She clasped her bitty hands in front of her and swayed gently for a few seconds. Ever so quietly she started to sing of her best friend Jesus who was always with her, and held her when she cried. As the she lisped through the song, her eyes lifted from the floor and up to mine. I smiled and nodded my encouragement, only then noticing my tear-blurred vision. My heart was wrenched from my chest, and has now been given to every little girl who wants to sing, to every little boy with a crooked smile and lazy eye, to every student who struggles with my broken Spanish, and to every child who just needs a chance.
September 7, 2007
Random cravings/happy list:
The sound of an alarm clock. Pine cones. Cold milk. Ice cubes. Crosswalks. Costco muffins. My moccasins. “A White Christmas.” Daddy’s voice. Kari’s handwriting. Jeep rides with Mom. Eric’s guitar serenading. Mom’s coffee cake. Jeff’s crazy driving. The Perk. Sunglasses. Alex’s jokes about Jared Hiscock. My hard-chaired spot in the library. Texting. High-speed internet. Taking stupid pictures with my phone. Business day. David Bowen. Contra dancing. Professor Eggbert. Finals week. Sleepytime tea. Dancing in my underwear up and down the halls. Campfires. Shorts. Swimming. My Gap man jeans. Arguing. Mail. Asphalt. Bicycles. Don’s hugs. Don’s laugh. Don. Snickers candy bars. Long fingernails. Bug-bite free skin.
Today’s been so long, I had to make another list.
This is:
Kayla’s never-thought-she’d-be-thankful-for-but-was-tearfully-surprised List
- Rain, because it reminds her of home.
- Her Song of Eve book, because even though she’s read it five times, it still takes her away from where she is.
- Her baby sister, because she really is her lovely best half.
- The color dirty-grass green, because it means God’s still got a plan.
- Her passport, because with it she can head home.
- Her imagination, because it helps her eat U.M.O. (unidentifiable and moving objects)
- Sobs, because they let that really tight and icky ache her throat go away.
- Hugs that are a bit too tight, because they remind her that if these kids can do it, so can she.
Only a cup of cold water. That’s all God asks for sometimes, and too often it feels like too much. The cup is too far away; the water is too hard to find, filter, and cool. All God asks of us is obedient and humble service, but all I can think about is all I’m missing out on at home.
That solitary cup of cold water feels heavy and it freezes my hands. How can I carry such an icy and weighty burden?
God, give me patience with myself, so that I can remember that change takes time. Give me the wisdom to know that tomorrow will worry about itself. And God, give me the strength to simply make it through today. One day at a time, God, one day at a time. Please be with my family and Don. Hold us together in your hands. Bring me peace. Much more of you, much less of me…
September 3, 2007
Before I forget, I want to write down what Maximo, our house dad, did for Ashley and I last night. The girls had been acting up a lot and the weekends are always really hard for me anyway. I think I was asked if I was okay, if I were sick, why I was sad, etc. About 5 times each... Anyway, after evening worship he asked Ashley, Orquedia, and I to go for a walk. We thought we had done something wrong and were going to be split up; Ashley and I somehow ended up grasping each other’s hands tightly. Instead of a harsh rebuke however, we heard him almost tearfully explain how hard it is to be in charge of a houseful of older girls. How you can tell them to go to bed, but that doesn’t mean they’ll sleep. Or to come to worship, but you can make them love God. He just wanted to make sure we felt welcome.
At the end of the road, there’s a tiny store that has everything, and I do mean everything (except good food) in it. He bought us each a soda. At nine p.m. I drank a quarter liter of caffeine because I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I’ve never loved strawberry pop more. It’s a beginning. A start. A simple and genuine gesture of appreciation. I may just find a home in the Dominican.
Earlier today I was wondering if I’d ever be able to accept where I am. Will I ever be able to appreciate the orchestra for what and where they are? Or will I forever need to close my eyes and pretend I’m at the symphony in a silky dress sitting next to Don. Do I have to pretend every time I hear the violin that Jared and Nathan are stroking the strings and the hard bench I’m perched on is really a cold metal chair? Can I ever stop hoping the hand rubbing my arched back is my grandma’s and not my sister/friend’s? Or that the voices loudly bantering outside are familiar and English…?
God, I miss home, but don’t let me leave here unchanged.
September 3, 2007
Why I think I’m here:
- To hear the stories of shattered homes, to feel my heart shatter, and to only be able to mutter “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
- To smile with all I’ve got, even though I’m breaking inside, to receive a grin of a kid who was caught staring.
- To experience heartbreak and never think twice about kissing the dirt-streaked face who felt it long before me.
- To make a never-thought-she’d-be-thankful-for-but-was-tearfully-surprised list.
- To say “I’ll succeed when I can get my boys to hug me” and have three rush to my waist.
- To shake the hand of the campus’ crazy and not rush to the sink with soap afterwards.
- To greedily read the gospels.
- To listen with my heart, and learn that I have twice as many ears as mouths for a reason.
- To laugh until my stomach hurts about a joke I still don’t understand.
- To wonder if playing the cello will free my heart’s song.
- To lost weight because there really isn’t much, look down at my “food,” and then at everyone else’s, realizing that I have twice as much as they do.
- To wash my clothes until my fingers peel, and my hands cramp and my arms ache. Minutes later I know I’ll rush out to help the girl who had the chore after me.
- To be thankful for the life I’ve lived, knowing full well that it will never be the same again.
“Porque ire adonde tu vayas, y vivire donde tu vivas. Tu pueblo sera mi pueblo, y tu Dios sera mi Dios.” Rut 1:16
I always thought I could do what Ruth did. Leave all she knew out of loyalty and strength of will. I am being proved wrong day after day. I could not leave all that I’ve ever known solely because I loved the mother of my dead husband. Look at me! I left with my best friend and I’m in shambles. There’s no kinsman redeemer waiting here to buy my land and sweep me off my feet…
The cutest thing happened in class today though. First/Second was more obnoxious than usual and I threatened to force one of the boys acting up to sing all by himself up front. In an attempt to subdue the class, I offered the question to everyone. I watched mouths shut and eyes lower to the floor, slowly however, the hand of the tiniest girl inched its way up past her toothless mouth and braided hair. “Profe, yo quiero a cantar.”
I motioned her up front and got down on my knees. She clasped her bitty hands in front of her and swayed gently for a few seconds. Ever so quietly she started to sing of her best friend Jesus who was always with her, and held her when she cried. As the she lisped through the song, her eyes lifted from the floor and up to mine. I smiled and nodded my encouragement, only then noticing my tear-blurred vision. My heart was wrenched from my chest, and has now been given to every little girl who wants to sing, to every little boy with a crooked smile and lazy eye, to every student who struggles with my broken Spanish, and to every child who just needs a chance.
September 7, 2007
Random cravings/happy list:
The sound of an alarm clock. Pine cones. Cold milk. Ice cubes. Crosswalks. Costco muffins. My moccasins. “A White Christmas.” Daddy’s voice. Kari’s handwriting. Jeep rides with Mom. Eric’s guitar serenading. Mom’s coffee cake. Jeff’s crazy driving. The Perk. Sunglasses. Alex’s jokes about Jared Hiscock. My hard-chaired spot in the library. Texting. High-speed internet. Taking stupid pictures with my phone. Business day. David Bowen. Contra dancing. Professor Eggbert. Finals week. Sleepytime tea. Dancing in my underwear up and down the halls. Campfires. Shorts. Swimming. My Gap man jeans. Arguing. Mail. Asphalt. Bicycles. Don’s hugs. Don’s laugh. Don. Snickers candy bars. Long fingernails. Bug-bite free skin.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Things I need from HOME
More pictures.
Ipod stereo special fitting thingy from Don.
Odwalla bars.
Nutella.
Peanut butter.
Oreos.
Chocolate of any kind.
Twix bars.
Yogurt covered anything.
Dried, wet, dead, etc. fruit.
Ketchup.
Sugar and cinnamon.
Pepto-bismol.
Dental floss.
Lip gloss.
Duct tape.
Scented candle.
Body spray.
A ticket back...
Christmas wish-list:
For my laptop to magically appear in my room.
Chacos.
A shower caddy.
A long and lovely visit from everyone I know, love, look like, talk like, act like, feel like...
Ipod stereo special fitting thingy from Don.
Odwalla bars.
Nutella.
Peanut butter.
Oreos.
Chocolate of any kind.
Twix bars.
Yogurt covered anything.
Dried, wet, dead, etc. fruit.
Ketchup.
Sugar and cinnamon.
Pepto-bismol.
Dental floss.
Lip gloss.
Duct tape.
Scented candle.
Body spray.
A ticket back...
Christmas wish-list:
For my laptop to magically appear in my room.
Chacos.
A shower caddy.
A long and lovely visit from everyone I know, love, look like, talk like, act like, feel like...
Week 2
August 27, 2007
“Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
After crying for what felt like forever, I walked down the road (if you can call it that) towards the school, in hopes of finding Ashley. Partway down the pot-holed asphalt I was bombarded by my new students. God knew exactly what I needed to cheer up. So I turned cartwheels and bent over backwards for them (quite literally actually), and I answer question after question. Their lisped Spanish melted my heart and my tears went forgotten while I was with them.
God, watch over my family while I’m away. Hold us all together in your hands. I pray for much more of you, and much less of me.
“Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
After crying for what felt like forever, I walked down the road (if you can call it that) towards the school, in hopes of finding Ashley. Partway down the pot-holed asphalt I was bombarded by my new students. God knew exactly what I needed to cheer up. So I turned cartwheels and bent over backwards for them (quite literally actually), and I answer question after question. Their lisped Spanish melted my heart and my tears went forgotten while I was with them.
God, watch over my family while I’m away. Hold us all together in your hands. I pray for much more of you, and much less of me.
August 28, 2007
It took us three hours to rig our bug net. Since it was originally hung on a piece-of-junk curtain rod, it frequently fell on us, showering insects of all sorts on our heads. I decided that it was time to fix this problem, and we looked around our sparse room to check out our resources. We had a bent nail, a hammer made of a hammer-head and a crow-bar, some masking tape, dental floss, and our bare, concrete ceiling. We tried the hammer and nail, but our ceiling was too hard. So, I figured the dental floss was our next best shot.
For three hours we wrestled with the waxy mess. It was quite an adventure for the first 20 minutes, but the next two and a half hours made us tired, sweaty, and no closer to hanging our dumb bug net than before.
As of right now, our support-system consists of numerous strands of dental floss in increasingly bigger triangles (thank you Mr. Sequeira for teaching me the value of that three-sided shape). Our attachment points include a bent nail, a burned out fuse box, and our light fixture… these are the kinds of problems they need to throw at you in math class. The real-life ones…
God, give me peace. Bless my family while we’re apart, and hold us close together in your hands. I pray for much more of you, and much less of me.
It took us three hours to rig our bug net. Since it was originally hung on a piece-of-junk curtain rod, it frequently fell on us, showering insects of all sorts on our heads. I decided that it was time to fix this problem, and we looked around our sparse room to check out our resources. We had a bent nail, a hammer made of a hammer-head and a crow-bar, some masking tape, dental floss, and our bare, concrete ceiling. We tried the hammer and nail, but our ceiling was too hard. So, I figured the dental floss was our next best shot.
For three hours we wrestled with the waxy mess. It was quite an adventure for the first 20 minutes, but the next two and a half hours made us tired, sweaty, and no closer to hanging our dumb bug net than before.
As of right now, our support-system consists of numerous strands of dental floss in increasingly bigger triangles (thank you Mr. Sequeira for teaching me the value of that three-sided shape). Our attachment points include a bent nail, a burned out fuse box, and our light fixture… these are the kinds of problems they need to throw at you in math class. The real-life ones…
God, give me peace. Bless my family while we’re apart, and hold us close together in your hands. I pray for much more of you, and much less of me.
August 29, 2007
I’ve had such a difficult time here that I thought a happy/thankful list may be helpful. It took almost an hour to think of approximately 20 things to be thankful for. Wow.
Spanglish. Ashley. Ingrid, my third grade teacher. Canciones (songs). 501 Verbs. My cell phone. Hugs from little people. Clean sheets. Bug nets. Sabbath. The words “esta bien.” Spanish-English Bible. My blue heels. Fireflies. That Christmas is only 16 pages away. This pen. My mommy. That God speaks English. Good water. That shaving is so NOT a big deal. Toilet paper. Twix bars. The full moon.
I’ve had such a difficult time here that I thought a happy/thankful list may be helpful. It took almost an hour to think of approximately 20 things to be thankful for. Wow.
Spanglish. Ashley. Ingrid, my third grade teacher. Canciones (songs). 501 Verbs. My cell phone. Hugs from little people. Clean sheets. Bug nets. Sabbath. The words “esta bien.” Spanish-English Bible. My blue heels. Fireflies. That Christmas is only 16 pages away. This pen. My mommy. That God speaks English. Good water. That shaving is so NOT a big deal. Toilet paper. Twix bars. The full moon.
August 30, 2007
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6, 7
God I’m not really sure how much more testing I can take, but I trust that you’ll get me through today. Today is Thursday. We don’t run on Thursdays, we nap. Well, we did on this one anyway…
Class went well. Better than they have been that is. So, funny story…
I was about to leave school, because all of my classes were finished and I was starving, but this fifth or sixth grade girl followed me out of the library, to the bathroom, to the office, pretty much everywhere… I asked her where her classmates were, and she just shrugged. I questioned further. Where is your class room? Over there, she motioned with a wave of her hand. I asked her to follow me (not that she needed prompting), and I walked her back to her classroom, fully prepared to apologize to the teacher for her absence, and expecting at least a word of thanks. Oh man. I was SO wrong. I stepped into an empty room, only to face the teacher, grading papers while the kids were, drum roll please….. out for recess. I looked around. Apologized profusely to the girl, and explained that I thought she was supposed to be in class, and that I didn’t know they had recess this late, etc. etc. Pretty hilarious now that I think about it, but at the time it was mortifyingly embarrassing.
God gave us stars and the moon tonight. Lately it’s been so cloudy you can’t see a thing, but the sky was crystal clear.
Lord, much more of you, much less of me. Keep my family and me in your hands; together, like we should be…
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6, 7
God I’m not really sure how much more testing I can take, but I trust that you’ll get me through today. Today is Thursday. We don’t run on Thursdays, we nap. Well, we did on this one anyway…
Class went well. Better than they have been that is. So, funny story…
I was about to leave school, because all of my classes were finished and I was starving, but this fifth or sixth grade girl followed me out of the library, to the bathroom, to the office, pretty much everywhere… I asked her where her classmates were, and she just shrugged. I questioned further. Where is your class room? Over there, she motioned with a wave of her hand. I asked her to follow me (not that she needed prompting), and I walked her back to her classroom, fully prepared to apologize to the teacher for her absence, and expecting at least a word of thanks. Oh man. I was SO wrong. I stepped into an empty room, only to face the teacher, grading papers while the kids were, drum roll please….. out for recess. I looked around. Apologized profusely to the girl, and explained that I thought she was supposed to be in class, and that I didn’t know they had recess this late, etc. etc. Pretty hilarious now that I think about it, but at the time it was mortifyingly embarrassing.
God gave us stars and the moon tonight. Lately it’s been so cloudy you can’t see a thing, but the sky was crystal clear.
Lord, much more of you, much less of me. Keep my family and me in your hands; together, like we should be…
week one
August 21, 2007
The short, slender woman that found the two lost girls in the airport was exactly as I imagined her. Short, bobbed, black hair. Smoothly tanned skin. As she ushered us out we were met by thunder, lightening, and a quick and tawny man. Santos jostled our bags and bodies into the van. After an hour and a half of hazardous driving, rapid-fire Spanglish, and extreme thirst, we sharply turned off the highway and into our new lives. The long hours spent on the plane exhausted me and the struggle to find the words in the bouncing and speeding van sapped every big of stubborn strength I had left.
Walking into our new bedroom we were greeted by a gigantic spider and a few cockroaches. I’m tired. Despite the company of Ashley, I’m lonely. I want to go home. I’m broken.
Utterly broken. Don didn’t answer his phone. I physically could not call my parents because I was crying so hard. I don’t know what to do. God hear my sobs. Give me peace.
The short, slender woman that found the two lost girls in the airport was exactly as I imagined her. Short, bobbed, black hair. Smoothly tanned skin. As she ushered us out we were met by thunder, lightening, and a quick and tawny man. Santos jostled our bags and bodies into the van. After an hour and a half of hazardous driving, rapid-fire Spanglish, and extreme thirst, we sharply turned off the highway and into our new lives. The long hours spent on the plane exhausted me and the struggle to find the words in the bouncing and speeding van sapped every big of stubborn strength I had left.
Walking into our new bedroom we were greeted by a gigantic spider and a few cockroaches. I’m tired. Despite the company of Ashley, I’m lonely. I want to go home. I’m broken.
Utterly broken. Don didn’t answer his phone. I physically could not call my parents because I was crying so hard. I don’t know what to do. God hear my sobs. Give me peace.
August 22, 2007
Cold shower number 1. 299+ to go. It really wasn’t so bad since it feels like it’s 85 degrees already and it’s only 9 a.m. Seems crazy that back home, only yesterday, I was chillin’ in an airport chair, playing with Eric and not having to try so hard to hold back my tearful floodgates. Twenty-four hours ago I had a life with a known future. Today, I know nothing.
Cold shower number 1. 299+ to go. It really wasn’t so bad since it feels like it’s 85 degrees already and it’s only 9 a.m. Seems crazy that back home, only yesterday, I was chillin’ in an airport chair, playing with Eric and not having to try so hard to hold back my tearful floodgates. Twenty-four hours ago I had a life with a known future. Today, I know nothing.
August 22, 2007
…”May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.” Gen. 31:49
Taken completely out of context, this verse is incredible. It’s my every prayer while I am so far from home. I can’t explain how homesick and heart sore I am. There are no words to describe the constant ache in my throat and chest from holding back my tears. I’m terrified of forgetting home, but more of home forgetting me. I haven’t sobbed yet, but I can feel it coming. There’s no turning back, even though my entire body yearns to go home. There are bugs everywhere, strange voices in the next room, food that is completely unfamiliar.
I can’t imagine coming without Ashley. That would have been so ridiculously stupid, but my stubbornness probably would have forced me on.
God please help me. Give me the strength I need to get through each minute without collapsing. Give me peace that passes understanding. Send all my love home…
…”May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.” Gen. 31:49
Taken completely out of context, this verse is incredible. It’s my every prayer while I am so far from home. I can’t explain how homesick and heart sore I am. There are no words to describe the constant ache in my throat and chest from holding back my tears. I’m terrified of forgetting home, but more of home forgetting me. I haven’t sobbed yet, but I can feel it coming. There’s no turning back, even though my entire body yearns to go home. There are bugs everywhere, strange voices in the next room, food that is completely unfamiliar.
I can’t imagine coming without Ashley. That would have been so ridiculously stupid, but my stubbornness probably would have forced me on.
God please help me. Give me the strength I need to get through each minute without collapsing. Give me peace that passes understanding. Send all my love home…
August 23, 2007
“Ya te lo he ordenado: !Se fuerte y valiente! !No tengas miendo mi te desanimes! Porque el Senor to Dios te acompanara dondequiera que vayas.” Jos. 1:9
God I’m scared all the time, and I want to feel you here with me. Bring me peace and comfort. Hold me tight. Hold Don, my family, and I together in your hands.
“Ya te lo he ordenado: !Se fuerte y valiente! !No tengas miendo mi te desanimes! Porque el Senor to Dios te acompanara dondequiera que vayas.” Jos. 1:9
God I’m scared all the time, and I want to feel you here with me. Bring me peace and comfort. Hold me tight. Hold Don, my family, and I together in your hands.
August 24, 2007
“Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation.” Ps. 27:9
On Friday’s we got to church. It’s sort of like vespers at school except hotter and impossible to understand. After church was the best part of the day, even though we got to go into town.
[Note: Bonao is a happenin’ place, lemme tell ya. Everywhere you look, there are scooters and motorcycles full of people. We’re talking whole families on a Vespa. Tiny scooters, four or five people each, it’s crazy. We had to get hangers and cell phones. Pretty cool stuff.]
Anyway, after vespers most of the girls that live in our house (there are 15 of us, ages 15-22, plus our parents and their son, Elvis) came back to sit around the table. I’m not really sure what was really going on, or being said, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone really opened up and we were all laughing our heads off at our horrible accents and terrible grammar. It was fantastic.
Hopefully I’ll start to learn Spanish faster so that I can better understand them. I feel so stupid coming here, knowing nothing. Like I’m more of a burden than a help, you know? It’s a bit unnerving.
“Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation.” Ps. 27:9
On Friday’s we got to church. It’s sort of like vespers at school except hotter and impossible to understand. After church was the best part of the day, even though we got to go into town.
[Note: Bonao is a happenin’ place, lemme tell ya. Everywhere you look, there are scooters and motorcycles full of people. We’re talking whole families on a Vespa. Tiny scooters, four or five people each, it’s crazy. We had to get hangers and cell phones. Pretty cool stuff.]
Anyway, after vespers most of the girls that live in our house (there are 15 of us, ages 15-22, plus our parents and their son, Elvis) came back to sit around the table. I’m not really sure what was really going on, or being said, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone really opened up and we were all laughing our heads off at our horrible accents and terrible grammar. It was fantastic.
Hopefully I’ll start to learn Spanish faster so that I can better understand them. I feel so stupid coming here, knowing nothing. Like I’m more of a burden than a help, you know? It’s a bit unnerving.
August 25, 2007
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
Sabbath’s here are excellent. Church from 9-12, bread and fruit for all of our meals, games and night, and between it all? sleeping or talking. Sounds amazing to me J It has potential to get boring, but with so many people around, if you’re willing to make a fool out of yourself with Spanish, you’re set.
Oh! I want to remember to tell my Mom that there are fire-flies here! I’d never seen them before, but I’ve always wanted to. It was a nice surprise to look up at our ceiling one night and see their glowing little bodies. I’m tired.
God, thank you for fire-flies, and funny girls, and your Sabbath. Be with my family while I can’t be. Hold us together in your hands. Much more of you, much less of me.
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
Sabbath’s here are excellent. Church from 9-12, bread and fruit for all of our meals, games and night, and between it all? sleeping or talking. Sounds amazing to me J It has potential to get boring, but with so many people around, if you’re willing to make a fool out of yourself with Spanish, you’re set.
Oh! I want to remember to tell my Mom that there are fire-flies here! I’d never seen them before, but I’ve always wanted to. It was a nice surprise to look up at our ceiling one night and see their glowing little bodies. I’m tired.
God, thank you for fire-flies, and funny girls, and your Sabbath. Be with my family while I can’t be. Hold us together in your hands. Much more of you, much less of me.
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