August 21, 2007
The short, slender woman that found the two lost girls in the airport was exactly as I imagined her. Short, bobbed, black hair. Smoothly tanned skin. As she ushered us out we were met by thunder, lightening, and a quick and tawny man. Santos jostled our bags and bodies into the van. After an hour and a half of hazardous driving, rapid-fire Spanglish, and extreme thirst, we sharply turned off the highway and into our new lives. The long hours spent on the plane exhausted me and the struggle to find the words in the bouncing and speeding van sapped every big of stubborn strength I had left.
Walking into our new bedroom we were greeted by a gigantic spider and a few cockroaches. I’m tired. Despite the company of Ashley, I’m lonely. I want to go home. I’m broken.
Utterly broken. Don didn’t answer his phone. I physically could not call my parents because I was crying so hard. I don’t know what to do. God hear my sobs. Give me peace.
The short, slender woman that found the two lost girls in the airport was exactly as I imagined her. Short, bobbed, black hair. Smoothly tanned skin. As she ushered us out we were met by thunder, lightening, and a quick and tawny man. Santos jostled our bags and bodies into the van. After an hour and a half of hazardous driving, rapid-fire Spanglish, and extreme thirst, we sharply turned off the highway and into our new lives. The long hours spent on the plane exhausted me and the struggle to find the words in the bouncing and speeding van sapped every big of stubborn strength I had left.
Walking into our new bedroom we were greeted by a gigantic spider and a few cockroaches. I’m tired. Despite the company of Ashley, I’m lonely. I want to go home. I’m broken.
Utterly broken. Don didn’t answer his phone. I physically could not call my parents because I was crying so hard. I don’t know what to do. God hear my sobs. Give me peace.
August 22, 2007
Cold shower number 1. 299+ to go. It really wasn’t so bad since it feels like it’s 85 degrees already and it’s only 9 a.m. Seems crazy that back home, only yesterday, I was chillin’ in an airport chair, playing with Eric and not having to try so hard to hold back my tearful floodgates. Twenty-four hours ago I had a life with a known future. Today, I know nothing.
Cold shower number 1. 299+ to go. It really wasn’t so bad since it feels like it’s 85 degrees already and it’s only 9 a.m. Seems crazy that back home, only yesterday, I was chillin’ in an airport chair, playing with Eric and not having to try so hard to hold back my tearful floodgates. Twenty-four hours ago I had a life with a known future. Today, I know nothing.
August 22, 2007
…”May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.” Gen. 31:49
Taken completely out of context, this verse is incredible. It’s my every prayer while I am so far from home. I can’t explain how homesick and heart sore I am. There are no words to describe the constant ache in my throat and chest from holding back my tears. I’m terrified of forgetting home, but more of home forgetting me. I haven’t sobbed yet, but I can feel it coming. There’s no turning back, even though my entire body yearns to go home. There are bugs everywhere, strange voices in the next room, food that is completely unfamiliar.
I can’t imagine coming without Ashley. That would have been so ridiculously stupid, but my stubbornness probably would have forced me on.
God please help me. Give me the strength I need to get through each minute without collapsing. Give me peace that passes understanding. Send all my love home…
…”May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.” Gen. 31:49
Taken completely out of context, this verse is incredible. It’s my every prayer while I am so far from home. I can’t explain how homesick and heart sore I am. There are no words to describe the constant ache in my throat and chest from holding back my tears. I’m terrified of forgetting home, but more of home forgetting me. I haven’t sobbed yet, but I can feel it coming. There’s no turning back, even though my entire body yearns to go home. There are bugs everywhere, strange voices in the next room, food that is completely unfamiliar.
I can’t imagine coming without Ashley. That would have been so ridiculously stupid, but my stubbornness probably would have forced me on.
God please help me. Give me the strength I need to get through each minute without collapsing. Give me peace that passes understanding. Send all my love home…
August 23, 2007
“Ya te lo he ordenado: !Se fuerte y valiente! !No tengas miendo mi te desanimes! Porque el Senor to Dios te acompanara dondequiera que vayas.” Jos. 1:9
God I’m scared all the time, and I want to feel you here with me. Bring me peace and comfort. Hold me tight. Hold Don, my family, and I together in your hands.
“Ya te lo he ordenado: !Se fuerte y valiente! !No tengas miendo mi te desanimes! Porque el Senor to Dios te acompanara dondequiera que vayas.” Jos. 1:9
God I’m scared all the time, and I want to feel you here with me. Bring me peace and comfort. Hold me tight. Hold Don, my family, and I together in your hands.
August 24, 2007
“Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation.” Ps. 27:9
On Friday’s we got to church. It’s sort of like vespers at school except hotter and impossible to understand. After church was the best part of the day, even though we got to go into town.
[Note: Bonao is a happenin’ place, lemme tell ya. Everywhere you look, there are scooters and motorcycles full of people. We’re talking whole families on a Vespa. Tiny scooters, four or five people each, it’s crazy. We had to get hangers and cell phones. Pretty cool stuff.]
Anyway, after vespers most of the girls that live in our house (there are 15 of us, ages 15-22, plus our parents and their son, Elvis) came back to sit around the table. I’m not really sure what was really going on, or being said, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone really opened up and we were all laughing our heads off at our horrible accents and terrible grammar. It was fantastic.
Hopefully I’ll start to learn Spanish faster so that I can better understand them. I feel so stupid coming here, knowing nothing. Like I’m more of a burden than a help, you know? It’s a bit unnerving.
“Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation.” Ps. 27:9
On Friday’s we got to church. It’s sort of like vespers at school except hotter and impossible to understand. After church was the best part of the day, even though we got to go into town.
[Note: Bonao is a happenin’ place, lemme tell ya. Everywhere you look, there are scooters and motorcycles full of people. We’re talking whole families on a Vespa. Tiny scooters, four or five people each, it’s crazy. We had to get hangers and cell phones. Pretty cool stuff.]
Anyway, after vespers most of the girls that live in our house (there are 15 of us, ages 15-22, plus our parents and their son, Elvis) came back to sit around the table. I’m not really sure what was really going on, or being said, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone really opened up and we were all laughing our heads off at our horrible accents and terrible grammar. It was fantastic.
Hopefully I’ll start to learn Spanish faster so that I can better understand them. I feel so stupid coming here, knowing nothing. Like I’m more of a burden than a help, you know? It’s a bit unnerving.
August 25, 2007
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
Sabbath’s here are excellent. Church from 9-12, bread and fruit for all of our meals, games and night, and between it all? sleeping or talking. Sounds amazing to me J It has potential to get boring, but with so many people around, if you’re willing to make a fool out of yourself with Spanish, you’re set.
Oh! I want to remember to tell my Mom that there are fire-flies here! I’d never seen them before, but I’ve always wanted to. It was a nice surprise to look up at our ceiling one night and see their glowing little bodies. I’m tired.
God, thank you for fire-flies, and funny girls, and your Sabbath. Be with my family while I can’t be. Hold us together in your hands. Much more of you, much less of me.
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
Sabbath’s here are excellent. Church from 9-12, bread and fruit for all of our meals, games and night, and between it all? sleeping or talking. Sounds amazing to me J It has potential to get boring, but with so many people around, if you’re willing to make a fool out of yourself with Spanish, you’re set.
Oh! I want to remember to tell my Mom that there are fire-flies here! I’d never seen them before, but I’ve always wanted to. It was a nice surprise to look up at our ceiling one night and see their glowing little bodies. I’m tired.
God, thank you for fire-flies, and funny girls, and your Sabbath. Be with my family while I can’t be. Hold us together in your hands. Much more of you, much less of me.
1 comment:
From my journal dated: 07/22/07 - 07/26/07
I can't eat. I can't sleep. My eyes burn from crying. My throat has a lump in it. I miss you so much!
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18
I can't stop thinking about you. Do you have everything you need? Are you hungry? What does your housing look like? Are there bugs? Are you safe? Does your heart hurt like mine?
"And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." Matthew 28:20
Lord, please be with Kayla. Comfort her, protect her, and most of all, bring her back to me.
You called me! It was so good to hear your voice (even through the tears). My heart aches for you. I am so sorry you feel so lonely, even though you have people around you. I can honestly say that I know exactly how you feel.
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalm 30:5
Lord, please wipe away Kayla's tears. Comfort her, protect her, and most of all, bring her back to me.
I love you more than words can say!
Mommy
Post a Comment